Dear Miss Dela,
Sometimes my boyfriend makes me feel bad about myself. He calls me names like stupid, lazy, and useless. When I try to leave the relationship, he always apologizes and begs for me to forgive him. I have repeatedly told him that I do not like him calling me names but he continues to do it. He says I cause him to say these hurtful things to me. Is this normal in a relationship?
It is normal to have fights in a relationship but in your situation this is more than just a fight. What you are experiencing is verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is when you are constantly being belittled and insulted. Verbal abuse is linked to emotional abuse because the verbal ridicule can affect your self-esteem. Verbal/emotional abuse can be just as damaging or even more than physical abuse.
The fact that you have repeatedly told your boyfriend to stop the name calling, is a lack of respect towards you. There is no need to be in a relationship with someone that is going to make you feel bad about yourself. You should be with a partner that makes you feel good about yourself and brings out the best in you. This guy doesn’t seem to be doing that.
He will continue to beg for your forgiveness because he knows that he can wheel you right back in. Yes it can be difficult to leave a relationship but you must be strong and walk away. The longer you continue to stay with him, the more he will be damaging your self-worth.