I have been involved with a man for 3 years. We both were in unhappy marriages when we met. Both were divorced soon after we met. Fast forward 3 years, my boyfriends son is unhappy with him. He is 15. Boyfriend also has a daughter who is in first year of college. I have not met either. He has met my 2 adult children, ages 24 and 21. He pays child support for the son. He also pays alimony to his wife. A total of 300.00 now, however it had been 400.00 a week up until about 2 months ago. That total is child support and alimony. He brings in 925.00 a week. She brings in 850.00 a week. She has credit card debt majorly, one of the debts was made with his card that he had gotten years ago, he didnt remember he had it. She charged 8,000. on it. I told him he needed to get that card back. He says she told him she no longer has it. The rest of her debt totals 10,000.00 plus I am sure. She is dragging her feet on getting the house sold. He isnt pushing it either. They both work for the same company, but not the same locations. And recently they were both laid off. Let me add one thing, we live in a home with my 70 year old Mom, pay no bills when she is home. She goes to Florida for winters and that is when we take all the bills and pay. Anyhow, they are both laid off, he had a side job lined up to do today, told me she is going with him to help and that way she can make some money and not get into such a bind. He watches out for her and his kids very much so. Not a bad thing, but I feel he is doing things totally wrong. She created her debt. She makes a good amount of money. Why is he so generous in giving!?
Honestly, you do not have control on how he uses his money. Now if it was your money that he was using, then that’s a major concern. Even though they are divorced, his ex-wife is still the mother of his children. I completely understand why you are concerned about his generosity towards his wife but there’s nothing you can do. You can talk to him about your concerns but you can’t tell him how to handle his money. It sounds like his ex-wife is willing to help out financially since she is solely responsible for his financial debt.
Just make sure that you do not get yourself into financial debt for helping him and his ex-wife out.