Dear Miss Dela,
Before I met her being single was pretty damn easy. I was happy with being alone and didn’t really want a girlfriend. I honestly never though a single person could have such a huge impact on your life. Ok so here’s my story about us sorry if it’s a bit long, but In order to get help you should know a lot.
So I’m a foster kid I went from my friends house to a foster home and then to my brothers friends house which I currently still live at and its been over 2 years now. When I came over I saw what I thought to be the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on and it wasn’t just like wow she’s hot I just felt something inside of me glow. I rarely ever feel like that. Turns out she was part of the family but she lives about 20 minutes away so it’s not like she’s in town. I get to see her like on the weekends and stuff luckily this family is very social so we always get together have parties and stuff so I see her every week and we go places.
Anyway I began to like her more and more and I tried to keep it secret but yeah that didn’t work out eventually we started dating. The only thing that was like a bad thing and still is, is that she is a terrible texter like she takes a millennium to reply and she’s like that with everyone not just me. Dating her was extremely difficult for one she was my first girlfriend so I lacked experience in many areas and I had small amounts of opportunities to become a better boyfriend because the family was extremely over protective which I understand. So I had to capitalize on every moment we had together I tried to make it as good as possible whenever we got alone we do everything we could in that small time.
Overtime I began to get a bit clingy I relied heavily on her for happiness I started to complain more and I mean we always had great communication so we made up and it wasn’t always constant. Eventually though the lack of expression of our love was really a downfall for the relationship and my clinginess didn’t help at all.
It’s been 7 months since she broke up with me and I have to say it’s really been taking a toll on me this whole time. I’m so in love with her I love every aspect of her she just makes life great, but can also making it a living hell. There’s been some ups but mostly it hasn’t been looking to good in terms of her liking me again I just don’t know what to do. She just says just go with the flow and whatever happens happens.
At times it seems great but then at times she seems uninterested I can never really read her fully. She’s also extremely busy with school a 4.0 gpa student so school is her main focus which I love and she does sports and works for the school so always busy. I feel like every time things are going good I mess it up somehow. She’s always been there for me and still is I’ve tried so hard to get her back but I really don’t know how. I also tried moving on but I can’t I lose interest in every girl I talk to or go on a dates with. I simply am in love with her.
Most likely we are gonna go to the same university and actually have freedom so I’m sure that could be a game changer. I honestly feel like there’s still hope it’s a reason I cannot explain but I won’t stop fighting until she gets another boyfriend or something. I have to see her every week so I can’t just stop talking to her or else it’s super awkward. I also know for a fact she doesn’t like any other guys or talks to any other guys. I just need help what the hell do I do??
It is very common to have a difficult time letting go of someone you love, especially your first love. One statement that you said that was a little concerning to me was “I relied heavily on her for happiness”. You should never ever rely on anyone to make or bring you happiness. YOU need to make yourself happy. When your partner sees that you depend on them for your happiness, it can distance your partner away from you.
It’s not good to be clingy. Being clingy can make your partner feel overwhelmed. Based on your situation it sounds like your ex girl friend is not ready to be in a relationship with you. She is very focused on her personal goals. That’s why her attitude towards your relationship is “whatever happens, happens”.
I went to college and let me tell you, there will be plenty of single guys and girls. You both will meet a variety of people on campus. You should not be focused on your ex while in college. Because you are choosing to hold onto your ex, you are ignoring other girls that may more suitable for you. Yes I know you did say you have dated other girls but you must continue to date until you meet the “right one”. Dating is trial and error. You have to go through the bad and mediocre until you find your good match.
In the beginning you had stated that you were a foster child. I’ve met and talked with people that grew up as foster kids. My question to you is, do you feel a sense of abandonment because your ex broke up with you?
If so, this may be more than a relationship heartbreak.
You will overcome this breakup with your ex. It is important to stay positive and focus on your goals rather than getting back with your ex.