My boyfriend and I have known each other for roughly 5 years now. He moved to a different country a few years ago and is moving back in 2 years. A few months ago we became really close; talking every single day and eventually became best friends. We started dating soon after (neither of us have been in an LDR before) and it literally has been the most perfect relationship I’ve ever had. We’re always affectionate and telling each other we want to spend our lives together and that we’re in love. We fit together so well, we tell each other everything and we’re such a great team. Sometimes I would tell him that I’m having doubts about if we will last because of the distance. He would always reassure me telling me to never think like that because we will work. That we will make it work. That it’s worth the wait. So I stopped worrying and believed. Recently, he’s been so stressed about school and his health. And it’s been getting a little worse each day. Despite the stress, we still were going amazingly well. I always helped and supported him. But a day ago he suddenly told me he just can’t do the long distance anymore because it hurts. It hurts not being able to express his emotions properly. I was so surprised. I’m so confused and hurt because he was the one who believed in us with all his heart. How could it have changed so quickly? How could he go from planning out our future every other day to saying he can’t do it anymore? We saw each other for the first time in years 15 days ago when I drove to the airport to catch him during his layover and it was absolutely amazing and full of affection. He couldn’t stop talking about it. So how could this happen so quickly? I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him. I want to be with him. I want him to realize that we won’t be long distance forever and it’s worth it. I need advice. What should I do?
Being in a long distance relationship is very challenging yet alone when you are both in a different country. He is saying to you that it is too hard on his heart to continue not being able to express his emotions to you. Who knows, maybe one of his friends or family members questioned him on how realistic it is to have an ongoing long distance relationship. From my experience, when someone has a sudden change of heart it usually means that he/she has been contemplating about making a big decision and is now able to express their final decision. Or maybe he met another woman that has sparked his interest. You will never know the exact answer until you talk further with him about his feelings in wanting to end the relationship.
You definitely can’t force him or convince him to want to continue if he is ready to let go. Two years is a long time and some can continue on while others can’t and need to move on. In life, things are not always meant to be. Yes you do not want to lose him but there is a reason why this is happening.
The best thing to do is talk to him rather than figure out a way to keep him.